adapt or die
Holy shit if you don’t think mother nature is hardcore please get out
a friend came round to help me revise and forgot to log out of her facebook on my laptop so I’ve spent the last 20 minutes devoting her facebook to trains.
I’ve also got the middle name “ILikeTrains” pending and have joined 50 “I love trains” groups.
TODAY BETH RECEIVED THIS LETTER FROM A TRAINSPOTTING ORGANISATION. THIS FRAPE IS THE MOST SUCCESSFUL THING I’VE DONE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
- Me during the entire months of summer: sleep, eat, television, video games, don't see sunlight for 3 days
- Everyone else in one day of summer: went to the moon, fell in love, traveled to france, met obama, kissed lance bass, starred in a porn, got a tattoo, rode a giraffe
“And under here, Hedwig”—Harry pulled open a door under the stairs—“is where I used to sleep; You never knew me then— Blimey, it’s small, I’d forgotten…”
Harry looked around at the stacked shoes and umbrellas, remembering how he used to wake every morning looking up at the underside of the staircase, which was more often than not adorned with a spider or two. Those had been the days before he had known anything about his true identity; before he had found out how his parents had died or why such strange things often happened around him. But Harry could still remember the dreams that had dogged him, even in those days: confused dreams involving flashes of green light…
Today my history professor, a rumpled, pot-bellied guy in his mid thirties, walked into class looking all excited, which made the rest of us nervous, because he’s known for pop quizzes. He took a deep breath and said, “I have been waiting for this moment my entire teaching career. So please, pull out your textbooks and…” in a British accent, glowering at us all ferociously, “TURN TO PAGE THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY FOUR.”
We all DIED I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS